What no one tells you about parenting

What no one tells you about parenting is looked at a a broad topic. However daunting the points in it are, the rewards are legacy building.  What no one tells you about parenting is that you are going to lose yourself unless you gain yourself. What no one tells you is that there are days you will forget your own name. What no one tells you is that if you’re not careful you will put every ounce of energy and life into your children and they grow up and leave. And when they are gone you will have no idea who you are.

Can you tell that it is a bit of a sore spot that I mention it so many times, “no one tells you”.  When I was growing up in Belize certain parents rear a certain way. Go to school. Get a good education. Get a good job. Get married and have children. Those last two are grouped like they come as some sort of package deal. If you can manage to get these tasks done in this order, then and only then in some cultures are you considered successful.

” gotta stay amongst the beautiful people dear” – Winston Aspinall

What no one tells you is that parenting will drive you to a point of exhaustion. That world class athletes call “hitting a wall”. However you still have to prepare dinner.

What no one tells you is that your children look to you for guidance. They do it by looking at your behavior more so than your words. When they come to me with a question I have to be prepared to give them my full attention lest I totally screw up a moment. What not one tells you is that after you have had 4 children in 5 years your life will never be the same.  Your body changes in sometimes irreparable ways. And without constant life altering hard work you may never recognize your former self again.

What no one tells you about the present.

What no one tells you is that the focus should be on the irreplaceable moments. The moments of each day you get with your bundles of joy. Definitely not on if they will play soccer, basketball or cricket on a professional level. Not even about running track or reading at grade level. These little gifts are only tiny once and the opportunities to mold them are few. After this, they start to become influenced by peers and other external factors.  All I can hope and pray for at that point is that a remnant of what I had taught them remains.

Then comes their future

What no one tells you is that if you are fortunate to ever have influenced a child the rewards are priceless. Whether your impact was positive or negative. This influence only heightens if you have to parent non biological children as well. With that the weight becomes heavier. You will need a support system of immediate and extended family, a village, in order to have this masterpiece viewed by the world.

  • Laugh till it hurts.
  • Eat ice cream right out of the tub.
  • Model and teach discipline

Lastly, what no one tells you is that parenting is the most selfless responsibility you’ll ever embark on.  Once you value yourself and model love and respect for children, the smiles, memories, hardships and rewards are all priceless.

Thank you so much!

P.S. What no one tells you is that “it’s worth it”